Loud, or what?

Why is it that some cultures shout their friggin t*its off when talking among friends? Never mind friends plural, the motherfcukers bellow their lungs across a one-foot wide table about their inconsequentially dull lives.

I'm sitting opposite a MOFO (MotherFcuker, to those who don't know) in a late bar in Cyprus right now who seems to think that HIS voice is our pleasure. If only I had an axe to make him think otherwise.

Of course, in certain cultures, to talk loudly in public is not only to appear a nuisance, but is considered so shameful that your ancestors roll in their frickin graves.

I prefer the axe, and let past relatives rest in peace.

One friend tells me that hundreds, thousands of years ago, people shouted from village across many fields in order to be heard.

Now we live in close proximity, she argues (theoretically) that history - evolution - somehow hasn't caught up in the suburban brawl of our existence, and hence the bellowing of these MOFOs in earshot.

An interesting theory, surely, but it doesn't stop me from thinking: DIE, you LOUD MOFO BSTD!